Her Mad Hatter Read online

  Shrieks resonated and then flowery roars reached a cacophonous pitch as they cursed him full of boils, warts, and pustules.

  “I do wish you’d hurry this on, starflower,” Jinni said with an exotic inflection that rolled over her skin like heated honey.

  Dizzy, and slightly breathless, she returned to the center of the table. Too much testosterone, too many fine pairs of eyes studying her. Heaven help the women these men paired with, they’d be the devil in the sheets for sure.

  “As you know, I’m your godmother, and as such I’ve duties to fulfill.”

  “Mon dieu,” Gerard groaned. “Must we abide this horror every year? Be done with it, fee. It’s not worked yet.”

  “Again?” Jinni crooked a brow.

  Hook fiddled with the end of his mustache. A glint of something in his dark blue eyes led her to suspect he was not as opposed as the rest.

  The Wolf gave a moaning growl- human in its whining undertones.

  Hatter jerked. It was the first reaction she’d seen from him so far. She might have been pleased, were it not for the threat of violence that quivered through the air like the strike of a finely honed blade.

  “No more. I told you last time: no more, fairy.”

  She held her chin high. “And I’ve given you leeway and your space. But it is more than time to get back in the game. We will keep searching until we find your Alice. We must.” The lie settled heavy on her tongue, Alice had been already been found, and she knew without a doubt he’d be irate. Danika raised her chin. She would not give into fear though, not now.

  Gerard threw himself back on the chair, causing the legs to rock precariously, and laughed. A great big booming sound that rent the night. Pigwidgeons scattered like falling rose petals in a thousand different directions.

  Gerard picked his teeth. “Mates. I’m in. I’ll take three, no make that four. All blonde. Big...” he framed his chest, “and no readers. Dieux, I hate readers.” His nose curled as he grabbed his magically full tankard again.

  “One will do. And that goes for all of you.” She eyed Jinni hard.

  His tipped his head. “In my Kingdom we are expected to maintain a full harem, oh magnificent one.”

  “Aye, well…” She stomped her foot, wagging her finger at him. “Women from Earth will not abide that arrangement. Besides,” she grinned, recalling one in particular that would be perfect for him, “she’ll be more than enough for what you need doing.”

  “Earth?” Hook roared. “Never!”

  The Wolf licked his lips.

  “Enough, enough.” She raised her hands. “You’ll not have a say. It is my duty to see to your needs. Happy endings are not the sole domain of Prince Charming.” She bristled, remembering the heated battles between herself and her kind.

  Love might never tame the beast fully, but it would certainly temper the wildness in each of them.

  The Hatter’s face could have been carved from ice. He was as still as a snake ready to strike. She took a step back; he was certainly crazy enough to do it. Heart thundering, feigning a boldness she did not feel, Danika shook her head. “No, Hatter, not even your madness will affect my decision. It is as I say. When the clock strikes midnight-” She waved her wand and a golden antique clock stood before him, its metrical ticks making Hook shudder. “She will be here.”

  “Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence.” Hatter’s voice was whisper soft, but full of some hidden torment.

  Filled with an ache to hold him, she clenched her teeth. She could not. She had a task, and she’d see it through.

  “Be... be that as it may, she will come and you will mate her.”

  He didn’t seem to notice she’d spoken. “But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

  She frowned, looking to the others for help in deciphering some meaning behind his cryptic words. The Wolf blew air through his muzzle. Gerard only shrugged.

  Hatter was worse, no doubt. There used to be a time she could at least piece together his meaning. Now- oh dear- he truly needed his mate. She knew he was tired of searching. So was she... Especially after the last Alice. The great-grandmother Alice Hu.

  Danika clenched her wand tighter. What if the girl looked like the original? She swallowed hard. The last Alice had been cruel, a charlatan. She’d fooled them all. Especially Danika herself. She’d fallen prey to the girl’s outwardly loving exterior. But she’d soon learned they’d had a viper in their midst. The girl had wanted nothing more than the power of Wonderland. She’d never wanted the Hatter.

  A reality made all the more sad because she’d never seen Hatter so taken. He’d made a fool of himself- in his mind anyway. He’d shown Alice the wonder and strange beauty of Wonderland, expecting her to love the talking flowers and vaporous cat-shifting loons as he did. But she’d despised it all, wanted to change everything; she’d rejected his uniqueness as madness and mocked him behind his back to others.

  Once he’d discovered her deception, something in him had fractured; where once he’d been irreverent, often laughing, he’d turned moody and withdrawn.

  Now Danika was set to bring him another Alice, knowing this one to be the right one, but what would he feel knowing this Alice came from that Alice? Would he even give the girl a chance? Would he hate her because of who she was? The thought made Danika sick.

  If the magic hadn’t demanded Danika find him an Alice, she’d have brought him a blasted Jane and to hell with all the Alices everywhere.

  “Yes, just so.” She sighed in answer to his nonsensical ramblings.

  Gerard snorted. “Only bride who’ll have him is one freshly buried. Honestly, fee, cruel torture.”

  She planted hands on her hips in her best authoritative pose. Not easy for one barely 10 inches tall. “Your turn will come soon enough, Gerard.”

  He shuddered, and she nodded, pleased her words hadn’t faltered. “Now off with the lot of you. Freshen up, get sober, and for the gods’ sakes, wash.” She eyed Gerard in particular.

  They all sat staring at her. She glowered. “Go, I say!” And gesturing at them with her wand, she lifted them from their seats. Wolf yelped the loudest as Danika tossed them from the garden.

  “Blast you, sorciere demon,” Gerard’s thick growl rose above the grumbles of the rest.

  She grinned and twirled towards Hatter. He was staring at her, eyes full of pain, of hunger, of something he felt would be forever out of his reach.

  “Cursed,” he whispered.

  She patted his cold fingers. “Hatter, you are not cursed. We just haven’t found the one yet. But we will. I swear it.”

  Danika’s words sounded sure, but in her heart she trembled. What will he do: was now the chanting mantra tattooed in her skull. She didn’t have a choice, he was unwell, and he didn’t have much time. She bit her lip.

  “Let me be, Danika.” He stood. “I do not want a mate out of necessity, or one chosen for me by this crazy up-is-down and down-is-up world. I will not do this again.”

  “I love you, Hatter, but hear me well. I’ll never stop.”

  He clenched his fist, brimstone burning in the depths of his cold black eyes. Then he blinked and smiled, a slow curling grin. “Do you know, fairy?”

  She frowned. “What, my dear?”

  His eyes were glazed, his body swaying. “The answer to the riddle?”

  Danika’s lips thinned, heart bleeding. He couldn’t even hang on to his anger before the madness claimed him.

  She swallowed hard. “I do.”

  “And?” He lifted up on his toes.

  “Poe, dear.” She touched his bristly jaw. “Poe.”

  He snapped his fingers and with a sharp nod, walked off muttering, “I knew it.”

  If Miriam hadn’t told truth, if this wasn’t the right Alice, Hatter wouldn’t survive another year. Alice Hu had to be the one, because without the Hatter, Wonderland could never be the same.

  Ch
apter 2

  The bell above The Mad Hatter’s Cupcakery and Tea Shoppe rang as the last customer of the day walked out.

  Alice heaved a huge sigh of relief, ran around the counter to the door, and turned the sign. She giggled-- the place was a mess, with napkins scattered everywhere. Tons of plates to wash and clean in the back and yet she felt like she’d just completed the Honolulu marathon. Her giggling held a frantic pitch to it. They’d done it. They’d started a business and made money. Lots of it. She hadn’t counted, but she was pretty sure they were well on their way to being in the black.

  In another two years.

  Her frilled mini dress was covered in powdered sugar, her hair smelled of a million different varieties of tea spices, and she didn’t care. A sense of accomplishment filled her: they’d done it.

  Of course, it didn’t hurt that she’d landed the sweetest location in downtown Honolulu-- right across from world famous Waikiki beach, aka Tourist Mecca. That meant one thing: a constant stream of customers.

  Tabby-- her baker’s assistant-- squealed, grabbed both of Alice’s hands and jumped up and down.

  “Girl power,” Tabby sang. “We so rock!”

  “I know!”

  It took at least five minutes before exhaustion finally worked its way through Alice’s brain. Grabbing her forehead, but still wearing a goofy smile, she dropped down in the seat nearest her.

  “Oh my gosh, we did it.” Her words were quiet, more thoughtful, as the full impact of what they’d done finally started to settle in.

  “Yeah,” Tabby agreed. “Wow.”

  Tabitha planted hands on her slim hips and grinned. “I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you?”

  “Can you believe it, Tabby? We’re true blue business owners.”

  “Look out world.” Tabby nodded, a smile as radiant as a burst of sunlight, tightened her face. “Feels good, yeah? After all these years, all the tears, all the sacrifices. And our moms thought we’d be good for nothings.” She snorted, reached into the cupcake display case, and grabbed two desserts.

  Alice groaned as another dull throb shot up her left calf muscle. She kicked off the four-inch heels Tabby had sworn were appropriate cupcakery attire, and massaged the stiff kink from her thigh-high clad leg.

  She’d felt slightly ridiculous in the frilly blue dress that barely covered her butt cheeks, but as Tabby had said time and again: sex sells, even in cupcakeries. Apparently, it was true. Easily half the customers today had been men.

  She’d not eaten anything all day, too anxious to get food down. But now it was seven, the day was done, and her stomach suddenly reminded her how neglected it’d been.

  Tabby sat across from her. “Mad Hatter’s Surprise, or Hooka’s Delight? Hmm? Hmm?” Tabby wiggled the plates under Alice’s nose. The creations were mini works of art.

  The Mad Hatter was a vanilla bean-based cupcake. At its center was a caramel covered slice of jalapeno-- the Hatter’s surprise-- but it was the tequila cream cheese frosting that made Alice have a mouthgasm every time. She gestured for the Mad Hatter.

  Tabby handed it to her, and then picking hers up said, “to a wildly successful day, and to many, many more.”

  “Hear. Hear.” Alice nodded agreement; they tapped cupcakes together and then bit into them with simultaneous groans.

  “O.M.G. Alice.” Tabby’s eyes were twin saucers of joy. “I’m beyond happy that you decided to waste your life and become a professional baker.”

  Alice snorted. Her mother’s words. Mom had had different thoughts in mind for her fourth and youngest daughter. Each Hu child had become something wildly successful. Her oldest sister, Verona, was Honolulu’s most renowned cardiologist. Alma-- second oldest-- the vet. Tanya-- White House correspondent.

  Then there was Alice. Head in the clouds Alice. Nose always in the books Alice. Well, one book in particular. Alice in Wonderland.

  As a little girl she’d thought it was cool to have a book named after her. Of course, she hadn’t known it wasn’t really, but by the time she’d figured it out, she’d already fallen in love with the dark and quirky prose of the book.

  Always imagining it was she-- Japanese goddess Alice Hu-- who’d fallen into Wonderland, met the white rabbit, become both big and small, met and... since the Tim Burton adaptation had come out... kissed the Mad Hatter. Yes, he was certifiable, but after seeing Johnny Depp play the part, crazy had never looked so yummy.

  She licked the frosting swirl and moaned as her taste buds erupted with sharp hints of tequila and notes of lime.

  “I love this.” Tabby chuckled and blew out a puff ring of smoke. A nifty trick Alice had learned at culinary school. Pop rocks flash frozen in dry ice. “We’re gonna be rich. Oh hey, did you hear?”

  After ten years of being best friends, Alice had grown used to Tabby speaking in stream of consciousness. She peeled the paper off her cake. “What?”

  She nibbled, content to be lazy and eat slowly. The kitchen could be on fire and she doubted she’d get her tired butt off the chair. Her feet ached and her toes tingled. She wasn’t sure that was totally normal, but at the moment, she couldn’t even muster up a grain of ‘care.’ She was blissed out.

  “K 1 News Now called this morning, wants to do an interview with you tomorrow.”

  When the words finally registered through the fog in Alice’s throbbing head, her pulse fluttered and she sat up straighter in her chair. “No way! And I’m only hearing this now?”

  Tabby shrugged as she popped the last bite of her cupcake in her mouth. “What? We were busy. Not like I had pet mice to do my bidding. Some of us,” she pointed at her chest and raised a brow, “were actually working.”

  “Cinderella had mice, not Wonderland.”

  “Pssh, who cares? I get them all confused anyway.”

  “Sacrilege. Off with her head!” Alice shrilled in her best Red Queen impersonation.

  Tabby rolled her eyes. “And that’s why you never get laid anymore. You. Are. Weird.” She patted Alice’s hand. “Honey, you do know they don’t actually exist, right?”

  Alice chuckled. Tabby always gave her grief about her love of-- okay... obsession with-- all things Wonderland. “What? You mean to tell me the face painted man who crawls in my window and makes wild monkey love to me every night isn’t actually real?” She tapped her finger to her chin. “That could be a problem.”

  Tabby chuckled. “I’ve got dishes to clean. I’d like to get home before ten anyway.”

  “Ooh la la,” Alice winked and sat back, “another hot date with Mr. H.P.D.?”

  Tabitha bit her bottom lip, a shy look in her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe.”

  Alice giggled and rubbed the back of her neck. “Then I suggest you get those dishes done.” She winked.

  Tabby ran back, a spryness to her steps Alice couldn’t hope to match. She was exhausted.

  Not, “I was out working in the garden exhausted” either. More like, “I’ve run ten miles, hiked Mount Kilimanjaro, all while lifting twenty pound dumbbells” tired. She rubbed her nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache spreading behind her eyes and shooting down the back of her neck. She winced.

  Too many long nights, too much stress of opening day, too much. She needed a break already. Tired as she was though, it was a good tired. She brushed some crumbs off the table, filled with a sense of accomplishment.

  Alice sighed; content to stay put a moment longer. Tabby teased her about her lack of a love life, and even though she played along, the truth was Alice was beyond sick of being alone. She wasn’t that crazy. Really.

  Her bedroom might be decorated a bit like an enchanted garden, full of potted plants and candles and gauzy silky drapings. And so maybe there were the wall clocks, faces painted to appear like the Cheshire cat, the Queen, and of course... handsome Mad Hatter, Johnny Depp. But that wasn’t that weird, right? She had a thing. Didn’t everyone?

  Alice shook her head, slipped her shoes back on and with a heave, was headed toward th
e register when the front door jingled. She smacked her forehead. In her laziness, she’d forgotten to lock the door.

  “Sorry, we’re closed.” She turned, spying an older woman-- maybe in her late fifties-- wearing a sad look.

  “Oh my. I smelled something so heavenly and knew I must, must get a taste of whatever special surprises were in here.” She threaded her fingers together. “Truly, could you not find it in your heart to allow a tired old woman, frail too I might add...”

  Alice couldn’t stop the smile. The woman had balls. She kind of liked her.

  “Oh come on, Auntie,” the local island patois slipped from her tongue as she jerked her hand. “But lock that door behind you. I don’t have much left.”

  Blue eyes, still as sharp and bright as they must have been in her youth, lit up. She rubbed her hands in anticipation. “I’ve heard so much about you, Alice Hu.”

  Alice frowned. How did the woman know her name? Paper maybe? Had she given her full name? She rubbed her forehead.

  The woman’s face went soft, eyes deep in contemplation. “Extraordinary likeness,” she spoke quietly and reached out a hand to frame Alice’s jaw. “Oh, Alice. I’ve found you.”

  Alice’s heart clenched, she wanted to jerk out of the woman’s grasp, but something made her pause as an answering awareness fluttered desperate wings in her chest. Then the lady gave a tiny shake of the head and laughed, as if suddenly recalling where she was. She dropped her hand and took a step back.

  Alice released a breath, suddenly confused by what’d just passed between them.

  The woman flashed straight teeth at her. “Wild, reckless child you were. Head in the clouds, nose in the book. Hatter in the heart.” There was a lyrical, chiming quality to her laugh that made Alice think of bells. “But now you are a woman grown and my, what a woman you are. You look so much like her.”

  This was all too weird. “I’m... I’m sorry,” her brows dipped, “do I know you?”

  The old woman was now at the counter. Her clothes were stylish, fashionable even. But the fabric was unlike any Alice had ever seen. As if someone had gathered the finest spider silk, still sparkling with morning dew, and woven a pale white top from it. She wasn’t a large woman, but her personality swept in like a tidal wave, filling the room with its bubbling presence and making her seem much larger than she was.